Compassion

Luke 10:27 (NIV). “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, Love your neighbor as yourself.”

  This past year has been a very deep, growing time for me.  I am still growing and leaning on God for some unanswered prayers and still at times filled with a lot of anguish.

  In the beginning of 2011, my husband was dealing with a lot of stress related to his job.  It was one thing after another and he was trying to hold it altogether.  I’ve seen him at his breaking point.  We didn’t share a lot of this with anyone, trying to be strong and protecting everyone.  It was our hearts desire to be a witness to his boss and family.  I had also taken care of their children over the years as well.

  I had watched things develop and didn’t like what was going on.  I had told Michael many times that “John” (his boss) needed to watch.  I had seen this before with my father and his business.

  We were trying to be careful with our own finances, the future was unsettled. Yet at the same time, praying for his boss and company so that we could use it as a witness to him.

  My husband’s stomach started to bother him a lot.  I started to worry about his health and how much more he could handle.

  My husband’s sanctuary was Sunday.  He is the voluntary worship leader at our church.  He loved Sunday and worshiping.  This was my husband’s passion and where I knew his heart was.

  We were also praying for this.

  We decided not to go anywhere for our holidays.  Still very concerned how things were going.  Michaela was going to visit her friend in Calgary for her holidays.

  Michael had bought a motorcycle in the spring so that was our holidays.  He wasn’t going to but I encouraged him to get the bike.  My husband is such an unselfish man.  He gives and does everything for everybody else.  I felt with everything he had been going through for the past two years, he needed a treat.

  The bike was also good for both of us. We actually spent some time together. And I used the time on the bike as a prayer time.

  So we stayed “home for the holidays” which was nice.  We live such busy lives that it was nice just to wake up and sit out on the deck having our morning tea/coffee.  What a treat.  And we enjoyed day trips on the bike.

  We also did our daughter’s bedroom over for her 16^th birthday.  I think Michael painted her room on one of the hottest days there were.

  We enjoyed our time even though I took sick on our first week.  They thought I had pneumonia or was having some asthma attacks. They switched my medications around and after a chest x-ray ended up saying I had some upper respiratory infection.

  Then the second week of our holidays, which was the end of August, I went to my doctor’s and he informed me that he found two lumps on my breast and we needed to have a mammogram right away. He ordered a ton of blood work as well.  He did inform me that lots of times it’s a fibrous breast. So we had all this testing done.

  Then for the next two weeks, I waited.  For those two weeks I had everything going through my mind.  Even, Lord, I need to be here for my daughter.  I have to be there for her wedding etc…… So Michael and I decided that we would deal with things and were hopeful for the best.

  I empathize with anyone that has been in this spot.  I was thinking a lot of Michael’s cousin, who was diagnosed with breast cancer, and everything she had been through.  How did she do it and she always had a very positive outlook.  She has two children.  Her son is Michaela’s age and the other a younger daughter. The daughter was having a hard time dealing with everything.  You could only imagine, but really none of us could.  What was going through that young girl’s mind?

  Then I took a fall and hurt my foot.  First they thought it was broken.  X-rays confirmed a bone spur and when I fell, it splintered.  So I had floating bone pieces in my foot. The doctor said it would feel like a break.  I found out that crutches are a pain in the butt. 5 minutes of this and I informed the doctor that there was no way I was using them.

  I was in a lot of pain and could hardly put my foot down to walk on, but work was calling.  Or my husband would say I was too stubborn to give in.   I say why start now.

  Then our car died and we had to get another car. Which was not in the plans or budget- is it ever?

  I was also having another kind of pain.  I was in pain every day.  An ultrasound on my uterus confirmed that I had three tumors that were growing and causing all kinds of problems and pain.

  But my blood work was still all good; fibrous tumors.  The doctor informed me that he had only 3 cases where they turned cancerous.  That was good news.  But in the back of my mind I am wondering because I have a family history here.

  So, lucky me.  Fibrous breasts and fibrous tumors.  But we are grateful it’s not cancer.

  We looked at a surgery that I would be a candidate for.  But that fell through. Then it would be a hysterectomy.  I didn’t really want to have this. I still live with pain just about every day- no I haven’t had surgery yet.  You see in the same week I went back to the doctors and told him that I couldn’t have any surgery at that time.  Why, you may ask?  The reason was because on October 29^th, my husband came home and crashed.  They closed the doors.  The company went bankrupt without any notice, other than my husband cornered his boss that week and questioned some things.  His boss just said things weren’t looking that good.

  So in no way could I take six weeks off.  We would only be living on my income until Michael received his unemployment.

  Then, in all this, I fell again and reinjured the same foot. Give me a break! I think I have had enough pain.

  Our whole world was coming down on us.  I can’t explain all the feelings and emotions that one goes through, other than the bottom falling out from under you.

  I spent so much of my time crying and not dealing with things very well.

  In the middle of all this as my husband was trying to find a job, he was also producing the Christmas production at our church. I was so mad at God for this. Why would he allow all this? It was so unfair for Michael to do all this and be a complete mess inside.

  I am so proud of my husband.  He managed to hold it all together and did a wonderful job on the Christmas production.

  After six weeks of feeling like you are living in a fog, my husband, as most know, got a job. We were so excited and so thankful.  His first day was December 12^th, my birthday.  What a gift!!

  We have claimed from the beginning to use this all for God’s glory and the way it all unfolded we know without a doubt that it was God.

  I did find it very hard though as Christmas was a different one.  We had no money for this.  It was hard to watch everybody else getting ready for Christmas and hearing people talk about everything they were getting.

  I love to do lots of Christmas baking, but I didn’t do any, because we had no extra money for it.

  We are so thankful to our church family for helping us through this time and their gifts that kept us going.  Our mortgage was due and Michael was a little (well a lot) worried about where the money was going to come from. That week we received a card with the amount to cover our mortgage.  What a blessing.  And with another generous gift we were able to get Michaela just a few things for Christmas.  She was such a trooper through all this and was the one that would remind us to stay positive.

  Yes, Christmas was a different one, but we were together and we had a great Christmas.

  Then I was so crushed from someone that thought it was terrible that we would accept help from people. They thought we should be using our credit cards and credit line.  I felt like I was slapped in the face.  Lord, how much more?  This was not an easy place to be, because we were used to being the giver, not the receiver.  It puts you at a very humbling place.

  And just a few weeks ago, I was talking to someone.  They had asked me to help out with something.  Michael and I talked about it and felt that it just wasn’t the right time yet.  Plus, my blood pressure is riding a little high and I need to get this down and not take on more things.   I have also been dealing with another issue this past year.  I am not able to share about this right now to protect those involved, but it has been very taxing on me.

  Anyway, I was explaining to this person my reasons why and stated that it has just been a very long year.  Their reply was, “yes I know, it has been a long year for us too”.  It just hit me.  How could they say that?  They have no idea the year we have been through?  To me, they are busy, but have a good life and just came back from a holiday.  Oh, how I would love to have a holiday right about now!

  I do not take any hard feelings from this.  I would probably respond the same way.  Nor do I want people to feel sorry for me story either. But it just hit me at the time like a brick wall came down on me.  Did they have to wait two weeks to hear if they had cancer or not?  Did they lose their job?  Nor did I really know all they have been through either.

  Let’s look at the rest of Luke 10 – The Good Samaritan. We see first the priest, who passes by. Then the Levite passes by. Then the Samaritan, who took pity on the man and took care of his needs.

  To the Samaritan it didn’t matter that the man was a Hebrew. His race was not the issue.  He only saw a man in need.

  Luke 10:36-37(NIV). ““Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

  The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”

  Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.””

  We know nothing really about each of these men.  Nor do we know any of their personal struggles.  Which I’m sure they had some-we all do.  But I do know that sometimes life can rob us, whether health, finances, death of a loved one etc…and we are pulled down.  We don’t go out and ask for it, life just happens.

  I want to learn from this time, and no matter what I may be going through, I want to be the one to pull others up, not down.  I don’t want to walk on the other side just because it’s easier.  I want to be the one that says, “Take my hand, we can walk this one together”.  I am so thankful that we had friends that walked the journey with us.  There are still Good Samaritans out there.

  2 Corinthians 1:7 reads, “And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our suffering, so also you share on our comfort”.

      “Go and do likewise.”    

 

               An Ear To Hear

Have you ever felt drained, can’t handle too much more?

I remember being a parent for the first time. Reading all the books and thinking I knew all the right answers. Yet, in trying to be this perfect parent, I was wearing myself down. Then I was creating this very needy child.

In my daycare, I have seen it over and over again. Mothers frustrated, exhausted, at wits end. “Where do I turn next? They just demand so much of me, Lisa.  What am I going to do?”

I have the hard part, sitting back seeing the answer. But are they willing to hear?

I remember after I got married, my grandmother took me aside one day with a warning.

My son was 6 years old when I got married to my husband. We had an instant family. Not only was I getting use to married life, but now sharing my son. After just the two of us for those 6 years, this was not always easy.

My grandmother said, “Lisa, if you want him to be his father, then you have to let him be his father.” This even meant allowing my husband to discipline my son. She gave me an example of a marriage that was destroyed because the mother wouldn’t allow her new husband to do this. The boy caused lots of problems and played one against the other. Well, the marriage ended and the son turned out not being so nice. He got himself into some trouble.

So, the day came when my son needed some discipline and after Michael had given him many warnings, I said to Michael, “I think it’s time the warnings stop and action is taken.”

My husband did his fatherly role. I hope my son realized how hard it was on my husband, who doesn’t have a mean bone in his body.

But to this day, I believe this was a bonding time for them. They built that true father/son relationship. That might not have happened if I had not allowed it. Think of what my son could have missed out on.

Let’s look in Exodus 18: 13-24(NIV).  Moses was wearing himself down, allowing the Israelites to be demanding on him. Like our children can be to us. We spend way too much of our time doing everything for them. Not allowing them to spread their wings and learn for themselves.

The Israelites surrounded Moses day and night; first because he wanted to be a good leader and second because he allowed them to demand on him.

How many of us moms have had days feeling like this. Our kids surrounding us day and night, whining and demanding on us. We all want to be that perfect parent. We need to stop allowing our children to do this to us. We are still going to be a great parent, maybe even better than we thought.

Moses’ father-in-law was watching (like my grandmother). He saw all that was going on. This is not an easy place to be these days, because people don’t want to listen.

So Jethro asked Moses “what was going on and it was not good.” It was not a healthy place for Moses or the Israelites to be. It’s not a healthy place for our children either.  

Jethro gave Moses some advice. Now, many of us at this point would close our ears to this. “What do they know, they don’t understand anything. They don’t know me.”  

But the most amazing thing happened…Moses listened (vs.24) and did what his father-in-law suggested. What a blessing Moses gave himself and the Israelites that day.

Now, think how many times someone has given us some advice, seasoned advice done in love (hopefully). Were we open to it?  Did we heed to the advice?  Oh, how we short cut ourselves at times. Not only us, but our children as well. Think of the blessings that we are throwing away. It’s funny how we want our kids to listen to us, but we don’t want to listen to others!