An Ear To Hear

Have you ever felt drained, can’t handle too much more?

I remember being a parent for the first time. Reading all the books and thinking I knew all the right answers. Yet, in trying to be this perfect parent, I was wearing myself down. Then I was creating this very needy child.

In my daycare, I have seen it over and over again. Mothers frustrated, exhausted, at wits end. “Where do I turn next? They just demand so much of me, Lisa.  What am I going to do?”

I have the hard part, sitting back seeing the answer. But are they willing to hear?

I remember after I got married, my grandmother took me aside one day with a warning.

My son was 6 years old when I got married to my husband. We had an instant family. Not only was I getting use to married life, but now sharing my son. After just the two of us for those 6 years, this was not always easy.

My grandmother said, “Lisa, if you want him to be his father, then you have to let him be his father.” This even meant allowing my husband to discipline my son. She gave me an example of a marriage that was destroyed because the mother wouldn’t allow her new husband to do this. The boy caused lots of problems and played one against the other. Well, the marriage ended and the son turned out not being so nice. He got himself into some trouble.

So, the day came when my son needed some discipline and after Michael had given him many warnings, I said to Michael, “I think it’s time the warnings stop and action is taken.”

My husband did his fatherly role. I hope my son realized how hard it was on my husband, who doesn’t have a mean bone in his body.

But to this day, I believe this was a bonding time for them. They built that true father/son relationship. That might not have happened if I had not allowed it. Think of what my son could have missed out on.

Let’s look in Exodus 18: 13-24(NIV).  Moses was wearing himself down, allowing the Israelites to be demanding on him. Like our children can be to us. We spend way too much of our time doing everything for them. Not allowing them to spread their wings and learn for themselves.

The Israelites surrounded Moses day and night; first because he wanted to be a good leader and second because he allowed them to demand on him.

How many of us moms have had days feeling like this. Our kids surrounding us day and night, whining and demanding on us. We all want to be that perfect parent. We need to stop allowing our children to do this to us. We are still going to be a great parent, maybe even better than we thought.

Moses’ father-in-law was watching (like my grandmother). He saw all that was going on. This is not an easy place to be these days, because people don’t want to listen.

So Jethro asked Moses “what was going on and it was not good.” It was not a healthy place for Moses or the Israelites to be. It’s not a healthy place for our children either.  

Jethro gave Moses some advice. Now, many of us at this point would close our ears to this. “What do they know, they don’t understand anything. They don’t know me.”  

But the most amazing thing happened…Moses listened (vs.24) and did what his father-in-law suggested. What a blessing Moses gave himself and the Israelites that day.

Now, think how many times someone has given us some advice, seasoned advice done in love (hopefully). Were we open to it?  Did we heed to the advice?  Oh, how we short cut ourselves at times. Not only us, but our children as well. Think of the blessings that we are throwing away. It’s funny how we want our kids to listen to us, but we don’t want to listen to others!